urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pink_me1010 pink_me1010 pink_me1010 2006-06-28T07:02:57Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pink_me1010:2142 2006-06-28T07:02:57Z 2006-06-28T07:02:57Z I have so much willpower but I fell and let me tell you this never happens and I started eating this dip but it is the only thing I will fall for <br />15 ml 85 cal aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so bad <br />So this is my plan I am going to work out lots tonight , tons tomorrow and even more the next night <br /><br /><br /><br />Breakfast <br />broccoli 35 cal<br />low cal dressing 20 cal<br />Yogurt 20 cal<br />Diet dr. pepper 5 cal<br /><br />lunch<br />Yogurt 20 cal <br />Dip 1200 [do not want to go under so it may be a bit high<br /><br />supper<br />Watermelon 150 cal <br />Crisper's 110 cal <br />Popsicle 90 cal<br />This peeper thing with cheese in it 40 cal<br />1690 cal <br /><br />fuck fuck fuck fuck aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa<br />exercise exercise urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pink_me1010:1836 2006-06-27T22:48:02Z 2006-06-27T22:48:02Z Breakfast <br />broccoli 35 cal<br />low cal dressing 20 cal<br />Yogurt 20 cal<br />Diet dr. pepper 5 cal<br /><br />80 cal so far<br />Today I am going to stay under 300 cal<br /><br /><br />Pilates and lots of the sauna belt urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pink_me1010:1701 2006-06-27T22:47:19Z 2006-06-27T22:47:19Z Breakfast <br /><br />140 cal granola bar<br /><br />Lunch<br />Sub way <br />Fat Free Honey Mustard 40 cal<br />Swiss (2 rectangles) 50 cal<br />Tomatoes 15 cal<br />Calories in Pickles - Sweet 40 cal<br />Cucumber 10 cal<br />lettuce 20 cal<br />Wheat Bread but I ripped it all off except for 20 cal<br />Diet coke 5cal<br />two sips of bubble tea 60 cal<br />2 pickles 9 cal<br />200 cal of little bits <br /><br />609 cal so far<br /><br />This is not a good day but I don't have to worry I worked it all off staying up till 7 am making sure, did not go to bed last night urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pink_me1010:1282 2006-06-13T19:16:52Z 2006-06-13T19:16:52Z h: 5'7 <br />cw. 120<br />hw: 123<br />lw: 98 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pink_me1010:1107 2006-06-13T04:21:42Z 2006-06-13T04:21:42Z Dear Ana you destroyed me,<br />You came and forgot to ask.<br />Your rigidity took over me,<br />You succeeded at your task.<br /><br />You hated everything inside me,<br />The outside even worse.<br />My weight was the biggest issue,<br />You set up your first curse.<br /><br />Quickly you diminished me,<br />A frail girl I became.<br />No matter how thin you made me,<br />Eating led me to shame.<br /><br />You not only put my health at risk,<br />And the life of my family too.<br />I never even imagined<br />The damage you could do.<br /><br />You began to haunt me everywhere,<br />In the shower was the first place you hit.<br />You pulled my hair out one by one,<br />A fist full I could fit.<br /><br />You made my eyes look empty,<br />My energy was no more.<br />They say I looked like a survivor,<br />Out of the concentration camps in the Second World War.<br /><br />You took away my social life,<br />The coldness was too strong.<br />But every time I bathed you off,<br />You'd come back even colder; it didn't take you long.<br /><br />The worst was during ketosis,<br />You made my breath smell horrid.<br />But mints had XX calories,<br />You knew I wouldn't go for it.<br /><br />You began to make me wonder,<br />Were you really worth this pain?<br />It was either you or my existence,<br />Your skinny body is obviously not my frame.<br /><br />You didn't agree with my decision,<br />But I said Fuck you this isn't me.<br />Your self-esteem is killing us,<br />This isn't who I want to be.<br /><br />The models in the magazines,<br />The friends you wish to be.<br />No matter how tall and skinny they are,<br />They will never come close to being me.<br /><br />It took me a while to accept,<br />That it will take long for you to depart.<br />But promise you will be nice to me,<br />And not show up on any of my charts.<br /><br />You didn't do well in therapy,<br />Those people are a tad bit crazy.<br />But they care for you and me, they do!<br />My courage did amaze me.